Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Bullying the Bullies

Daddy bloggers are buzzing about James Jones, the father who (quite angrily) confronted his daughter's bullies on the school bus. This dad reached his breaking point and he took matters into his own hands.

What parent hasn't had to deal with a bully at one point or another? A community of similarly frustrated and sympathetic parents is now growing around Jones. There's even a Facebook page that is advocating on his behalf.

The video of his reaction is below. It's hard to know when to intervene in a situation like this, much less how to intervene. However, in the case of Jones, by berating these kids, he is continuing the cycle. There is still no one in this situation that is showing these children what it means to be respectful and how to solve conflicts. His reaction only perpetuates this behavior.

We've offered some strategies to help parents deal with bullies, but what do you think? How far is too far? How have you handled similar situations with your children?

10 comments:

  1. No! This father should not have apologized at all. The child that was doing the bullying still sees this as a joke. His mother not once mentioned that her son was in the wrong. Parents are tired of their children being bullied. It is not right and it speaks volumes about the child who is bullied. Bullies are always children who were bullied once themselves. He needs counseling and so does his mother as I am almost sure she is a bully herself. I too am tired of bullies!

    ReplyDelete
  2. many children today are nuts and they don't have fathers or mothers who check the b.s. at home. too frequently, children get bullied and the schools do too little. people seem to be afraid to confront other people who are doing wrong. james jones needs to be on a postage stamp.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree, the father did not model positive conflict resolution skills for the youth. However, I definitely understand his frustration. My daughter went through verbal and physical abuse and I believe what made me most angry was the lack of parental support. One of the parents had a nerve to tell me, "Oh, he just likes her." Well, I don't feel having a crush on someone jusifies punching them in the chest nor does putting body fluids (spit) on their desk and personal items!! In any bullying situation I look at the parents and ask,"what are you teaching your child?" I believe every parent should have a zero tolerance rule for bullying in their home. My question is what do you do when other parents dont hold their children to the same values as you hold yours?

    ReplyDelete
  4. When I was in elementary school, I had 4 boys who decided to make my life a living hell. I talked to the Principal and he told me that he was going to paddle me unless I fought the bullies. It got so bad that I couldn't ride the school bus because they would punch, kick and verbally harass me. The Principal was no help and my Mother yelling at them only made things worse. Luckily, my Mother and I moved and I attended another school. I found out later that the leader of the pack became a hopeless alcoholic and his partners were in and out of jail and couldn't hold jobs. I had 7 years of abuse by them and my school Principal!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now it turns out that bullies are victims, come on!!! I am happy this man reacted that way to raise awareness of how parents are frustrated with bullies. I think bullies should be expelled and force them to do some community service. The mother of the kid of the video should be sent to, if I were in her shoes I would be embarrassed to have a kid like him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think this father was right to board the bus with his daughter and confront the bullies. It was wrong to threaten the boys or the driver with physical assault. Instead he should have looked the bullies in the eyes, written down their names, told them he would be back if their bad behavior happened again, and reported them to the principal, parents and (possibly) police. He also should have looked the driver in the eye and made it clear that the driver would be held accountable for the behavior on his bus.

    ReplyDelete
  7. James Jones is my hero. His daughter was being bullied and he went to her rescue. These boys are intollerable and will probably grow up to be criminals anda plague to society. Their mother should be ashamed of herself and obviously does not know how to parent. You go Mr Brown. You are my hero!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Although I have never had this extreme misbehavior happen to my children I fully agree with MeaningDriven, however a quick call to the local police department to inform them of the actions I planned on taking, would be a priority. I teach my children to stand up to bullies, because it happened to me for two years, never make a threat they don't plan on following thru on, and always let authority know. If that behavior continues I would hold the driver, principle, and police accountable. My tax money is used to pay their wages, I expect them to work for it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mr. Jones is a good man who loves and cares about his daughter. He has offered many a heartfelt apology for his actions, which were not right, but to a certain extent understandable. Bullying is an issue of respect and a lack of respect being taught to our children.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is a clear case of something that could have turned out very ugly, but in the end, I think the message was delivered loud and clear. Mr. Jones could have handled it alot better, but in the heat of the moment, when someone you love is being bullied, I can completely understand his reaction. I don't doubt the daughter was being picked on, but it is possible that she could have exagerated things a bit as well. I agree with the comments reltaed to the mother of one of the boys who was doing the bullying...where is that kid's father? If the bus driver, principal, and/or police are not able to stop the bullying, then that would be a truly sad situation...perhaps that would have been the best route before a direct confrontation. While you always want to teach your kids to stand up to bullies, it is hard to watch them go through it...and not want to step in. I have been on both sides of that equation...teasing other kids mercilessly (when I was in grade school) and then being bullied when I was in junior high school. Thankfully I was able to tell my parents about it, and they stepped in. Of course, the kid who was bullying me (and got into trouble) came up to me after and said that he was just "playing with me"...I think he eventually ended up in a juvenille detention hall. Anyway, I think we need more men with Mr. Jone's chutzpa, to stand up for his children, if not in a way that is a little less confrontational.

    ReplyDelete

We welcome many points of view and great discussion. However, please be aware that comments go through an approval process. The blog administrators reserve the right to not post or delete any comments that are not appropriate (ie: comments with obscene, explicit, sexist, racist or otherwise derogatory language), impolite (ie: comments containing personal attacks, insults or threats), dishonest (ie: potentially libelous comments), or are spam. Thanks for understanding!